I should have paid more attention to my son as a toddler. I could have learned some tricks that saved me time and possibly a pharmacy bill for ulcer and high blood pressure medicine.
Think about it: Toddlers are generally very transparent about their needs. When they are hungry, they let you know. When they are sleepy, they get cranky. When they are tired, they stop. They can surrender themselves to an exclusive focus on what brings them joy. When something does not carry joy, they abandon it. Maybe we could apply some of these same principles to our lives.
The first step is to figure out what you need. As we grow older, that gets harder. Our needs become more complex, and we stop listening to our bodies.
Self-awareness, then, is critical. Evaluate how you are feeling and responding to situations several times each day. Pay attention to the signals from your body. Are your shoulders tense? Do you have stomach pain or a headache? Now, identify what is contributing to that visceral response. You can take some defensive moves once you know what triggers that natural reaction. It might be as simple as blocking time on your calendar to focus on work assignments without interruptions. Maybe it is setting a reminder on your calendar to take a short walk or breathe.
Yes, I said breathe. Breathing exercises can actually help you pause from an emotional response to a situation to review it objectively and make a reasoned, logical decision about your response. The technique of using focused breathing to invoke a relaxation response was first identified and explained by cardiologist Dr. Herbert Benson in the 1970s to manage stress and improve personal health.
Slow, deep breathing stimulates activity in the vagus nerve, decreasing blood pressure, relaxing muscles and slowing the heart rate. There are free apps and YouTube videos available to help you practice focused breathing.
Your attitude often drives outcome. Each day I deliberately choose gratitude and positivity. I still get frustrated, discouraged and even angry. But when I pause to step back from those feelings, I can decide how to respond more effectively.
It may be how I am wired, but I recognize if I give into my feelings and wallow in them, that decision does not move me forward or help the situation. It often makes it worse. Choosing positivity and practicing gratitude have helped me to respond better and manage my life more effectively.
The Gallup Organization identified five categories that contribute to a well-balanced life.
Does your current job or career bring personal satisfaction and a sense of purpose? In your job, when do you feel most satisfied and challenged? What are you doing? What aspects of your work do you struggle with or not like? When do you feel most anxious? What is contributing to that feeling? Is it the environment or the workflow?
Once you’ve identified areas to better meet your needs, try out some methods that you have control over. For instance, if you’re most engaged working on a team, identify how to connect more — either by going into the office or using virtual meetings. If instead constant interruptions create frustration, establish a dedicated workspace at home or work at the office.
“The first step is to figure out what you need. As we grow older, that gets harder. Our needs become more complex, and we stop listening to our bodies.”
Be flexible as you figure out what works for you. You may need to tweak your plan, so take a pulse check weekly to see what is and is not working and adjust as needed.
We lead hectic lives, which creates a high need for flexibility. For me, daily group texts among my core friends keep me connected. Meeting over breakfast or lunch combine practical with social. Whatever it is, build your social network and nurture those relationships. Be willing to be the connector and most importantly, be available.
Debt and other financial concerns can significantly impact your overall well-being in mental and physical ways. Take positive steps to understand your financial situation. Establish a reasonable budget, stick to it and set financial goals. Sources such as the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau offer free resources to help you understand finances and make better decisions.
Exercise, sleep and diet significantly impact your overall wellness and your ability to handle stress. Schedule time to get active, replace poor eating habits with healthy ones, and learn how much sleep you need.
We all know that lack of sleep can lead to disastrous results in adults (and toddlers). While the adult version of a meltdown may not include a tantrum, sleep and mental health are intertwined.
Community engagement also correlates to the overall well-being of an individual. This may manifest in volunteer work in your community or attending local events or festivals. Community involvement fosters a sense of belonging and offers ways to give back to society.
While my two-year-old son may not have articulated it clearly, he taught me some core essentials. Do what makes you happy. Make friends. Be a friend. Get enough sleep. Rest when you are tired. Eat what is good for you. Do for others. And most importantly — stop for a minute and take care of yourself.
