How Empathy and Honesty Can Make the Firing Process Easier

The firing process isn’t fun, but there are ways to ensure it remains kind, respectful and regret-free for both employee and manager.

By Justin Askenazy

November 20, 2024

Firing an employee likely doesn’t rank among the most enjoyable aspects of your job, but it’s often something that will fall to the legal administrator. Sometimes, it’s downright painful. But layoffs do happen, so it’s important that they be handled tactfully and respectfully.

In a September 2024 survey, the education website Preply asked employees and managers for the most common phrases used when firing someone and how the firing process can be made better. The results offer some stark lessons on the treatment of employees during an undeniably difficult time in their careers.

As opposed to just telling someone, “You’re fired,” most managers understandably use euphemisms to attempt to soften the blow. “Letting you go” is used by nearly half of managers, with “terminating your employment,” “this isn’t working out,” and “no longer require your services” also frequently used. Many employers also add that the termination is “effective immediately.”

As the survey report explains, words matter. “If you’re a manager, before you enter the meeting to part ways with one of your employees, remember the words you choose are going to stick with them forever,” it says. In most cases, the last thing you’d want to do is burn a bridge or be disrespectful toward an employee who served honorably.

But managers and employees alike agree that firings should be handled better. A majority of employees surveyed said a lack of explanation and empathy were what left a sour taste in their mouths. And managers agree — around 60% of them said they could’ve provided better explanations and been more understanding when conducting those tough meetings.

So how can the firing process become — if not enjoyable — at least less unenjoyable? Unfortunately, there’s no magic phrase the survey identified that would make everyone go home happy. But employees did say they would appreciate warnings about their performance or some other heads-up so that they aren’t blindsided in a firing meeting.

A majority of employees surveyed said a lack of explanation and empathy were what left a sour taste in their mouths. And managers agree — around 60% of them said they could’ve provided better explanations and been more understanding when conducting those tough meetings.

Also important is the use of more empathetic language. As tempting as it might be to act transactionally, the kinder a manager can be, the better the bad news will be received. As one in six managers attest, it also helps to have a face-to-face meeting, or at least a video call with cameras on. This allows for a more personal conversation where body language and other non-verbal cues can be picked up on correctly.

Honesty is yet another factor that employees wish there was more of. Given the sensitive nature of personnel decisions, providing a full account of the situation may not always be feasible. But managers should be aware that employees don’t want to be left in the dark about why such an action is being taken. Even if the person is no longer working for your organization, honest feedback may help them improve for the next chapter of their career.

The firing process isn’t fun, but there are ways to ensure it remains kind, respectful and regret-free for both employee and manager. Through empathetic language and being honest with the employee, both sides can walk away feeling like they’ve been heard and understood despite undergoing one of the toughest meetings they’ll face in their careers.

About the Author

Justin Askenazy

Associate Editor
Association of Legal Administrators

Justin Askenazy is the Associate Editor at ALA. He holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism and has experience covering political and local news.

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